Dinner Served, With a Twist
Or how to break the ice with more than just a Negroni
I love beautiful tables and setting the mood with candles, but if the conversation doesn’t follow, all of that can fall flat. And let’s be honest, a dinner that doesn’t vibe is the worse feeling, it feels like a waste of time. I’ve personally always believed that if you curate your guest list well, the rest usually takes care of itself.
But, I won’t lie, no matter how many times I host, or how close I am to my guests, I always get a tiny wave of anxiety just before dinner, hoping that it will click. Maybe it’s age (I’ve been blaming quite a few things on my newly 40s…), but lately I’ve noticed more and more hosts setting the tone in clever, understated ways. Just a little something to get things going.
Maybe they feel that same bit of pre-dinner nerves, or maybe they’ve just decided to do things differently. Either way, I loved it. So here are a couple of ideas I’ve taken part in (and a few I want to try) that add something fun to the table.
Who’s Who At The Table
Forget name cards. Instead, place one carefully chosen word for each guest. No names, just an adjective.
Each guest has to figure out which word was meant for them and where they’re supposed to sit. It’s playful, a bit chaotic, and honestly watching friends trying to claim (or avoid) certain traits is very funny. Especially, when it really defines them.
“Wait, am I chaotic? That is definitely you!”
You can go cheeky, mysterious, bold. It all depends on the group and the tone you want to set. Just don’t make it obvious. The fun is in the guessing, the doubting, and this gentle and sweet chaos before everyone sits down.
Here’s the trick (you probably got it by now, but just in case…): write the guest’s actual name on the back of the card, hidden behind the word. Once everyone’s found what they believe is their seat, ask them to flip the card and see if anyone got it wrong.
I discovered this at a dinner I was invited to and it was a hit! If you pick the right words, some that could purposely be confusing between guests, it really does kick the event in a really fun way!
The Soundtrack Twist
This one requires a little extra work from everyone, but I promise it’s worth it.
A few days before your dinner, ask each guest to send you one song they would love to hear or make you discover. Make a playlist with all the tracks and play in the background during dinner.
Then, as you bring out dessert, start asking questions:
Did anyone recognise a song?
Who do you think picked it?
What memory does it bring up?
I once went to a dinner where we did this, and I admit, on paper, it sounded kind of weird and maybe even a little tedious. But it ended up being super fun and a great way to end the meal. You’ll discover new songs, hear old stories, and the best part? The host shares the playlist afterwards and it becomes a little souvenir.
Insider’s tip - You can curate a theme for the playlist to guide your guests: 90s hits, cuban sounds, songs that remind you of summer etc. Go as niche or open as you’d like.
The Proust Questionnaire
Disclaimer: as a host, you have to know your crowd. This particular dinner twist is not for everyone and only works if the group’s up for it. That’s on you :)
If you haven’t heard of it, the Proust Questionnaire is a set of personality questions made famous by French writer Marcel Proust, designed to reveal someone’s character in subtle, often surprising ways.
When and where were you happiest?
Which living person do you most admire?
What is your most treasured possession?
What makes it special is how it mixes the profound with the playful.
There’s 2 ways to go about this.
» One question per guest
Slip a single Proust question under each plate or tuck it into a folded card. Each guest gets one to answer at some point during the evening—when the moment feels right. No pressure, no spotlight. Just a gentle invitation to share something unexpected.
» The Proust conductor
This one’s a little more interactive. Usually, the host takes the lead, but we all know a someone who is a born animator. If he/ she is one of the guests, well… you know what to do! The conductor guides the flow of questions, choosing who answers what and when. It becomes less about the individual and more about where the conversation leads.
The Secret Guest Role
Same disclaimer as above: you have to know your crowd. I haven’t tested this one myself (yet), but I have a feeling it would be great if your guests really commit to it.
Before dinner, send a message to all your guests explaining the concept and assign secret roles: the compliment giver, the question asker, the storyteller, the provocateur. The key is: they have to fully embrace their role throughout the evening, without revealing it.
You can choose to reveal everyone’s secret at the end of the night or wait for people to start suspecting something’s going on. Imagine your super shy friend suddenly asking questions non-stop or your most PG guest blurting outrageous sentences into the conversation. The most perfect chaos.
Be nice, drop a ❤️ :) Share any fun ideas to break the ice at the table!
Adopting the Proust Questionnaire! 🕶 Better know where the naughty one sits!
Great read as always ❤️